How many art history majors does one country need…

My friend Ann sent this to me this morning – it’s funny – I have no idea who to credit for writing it, one of those things sailing around the internet

From the Manitoba Herald

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop
the illegal immigration.

The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left- leaning
citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with
Bill O’Reilly .

Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal- rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at
night. “I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn,” said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose
acreage borders North Dakota . The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.
“He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I
said I didn’t have any, he left. Didn’t even get a chance to show him my
screenplay, eh?”

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare
Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,” he said. “The
liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn’t
give milk.”

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near
the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across
the border and leave them to fend for themselves. “A lot of these people are
not prepared for rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said.
“I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice
little Napa Valley cabernet, though.”

When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing
loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives.
Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing
re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer
and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing
the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy
cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans
disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping
buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and
Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the ’50s.
“If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show , we
get suspicious about their age,” an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating
an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

“I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t
support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors does
one country need?

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2 Responses to “How many art history majors does one country need…”

  1. Hahn at Home Says:

    HAHAHAHA! This is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a while. Have we stopped to consider this before? I think we need to help Canada remain free of art history majors – they can be such a drain on the economy.

  2. Old Crone Says:

    Oh too funny…How did they know I was thinking of running to Canada???

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