Excuse me have you seen my head?

I misplace so many things, for one because I am extremely messy and for two because I am always living in the “monkey mind” of my head. Thoughts flow, swirl, whirl, twirl, spin – repeat. Things I have picked up or start to do get dropped.

As my brain goes

and over
and over and over
and did I go over and over that again?

or did I just go over that? Oh my god I remember the time that…

Brain. Busy. Restless. Fretting. Re-inventing.

I spend a lot of time alone, live alone and have for 25+ odd years, work alone and am self employed…you talk to clients but there is only so much you can say. One cannot live on “isn’t he cute”? “Charlie peed on the rug again right after I took him out”. “Scrappy bit me and now I am scared of him”. These kinds of conversations and relationships can only take a girl so far.

So I make up – whole lives and I am sure we all do. There is my life as it is actually happening, then there is “my life” as created in my mind.

Guess which one is more interesting? Oh yeah of course. A friend once said to me “I have the best affairs they are all in my mind”. N. I miss you.

So she takes, Janet takes things that are really not significant, dates that were not all that significant and spins them into important, meaningful relationships. I can make a relatively dull woman fascinating in my head.

But only in my little, busy, monkey mind.

Last week I went out with a friend she is ending a long relationship with her partner, we spoke over mojitos — hard times these endings. She asked me about the women I have been dating and it was at that moment – -when I had to talk about my “real life” the one that happens, instead of the one in my head.

In that moment I realized just exactly where my head has been, where I have misplaced it —

my head, the one I have not been able to find, has been up my ass.

Friends are so important in our lives they keep our feet on the ground and our head out of our ass.



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