Long week, longer weekend…

It’s been a long week and the weekend will be longer — frustrated, tired with no one to blame as I have simply overbooked myself, volunteered for too much and now am missing time for myself. Time for myself, it sounds so strange, those words, slipping off the lips of the serially single girl. And in that regard I am spending too much time looking backwards over my shoulder which means I will either run smack dab into something or miss something right in front of me.

My weekend all full of stuff -working & volunteering, working and volunteering…
but for now a moment to sit quietly with my coffee, be relieved by the cool grayness of the day. Months ago my friend Ann gave me a wonderful book that I had promised to share bits of each day and I dropped that practice almost as soon as it started. This morning I picked up Blessings again – there were some very relevant quotes this week that relate to how I am feeling.

Underneath our ordinary lives, underneath all the talking we do, all the moving we do, all the thoughts in our minds, there’s a fundamental groundlessness. It’s there bubbling along all the time. We experience it as restlessness and edginess. We experience it as fear. It motivates passion, aggression, jealousy, and pride, but we never get down to the essence of it. – Pema Chodron

Feelings like dissapointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. – Pema Chodron

As we willingly enter each place of fear, each place of deficiency and insecurity in ourselves, we will discover that its walls are made of untruths, of old images of ourselves, of ancient fears, of false ideas of what is pure and what is not. -Jack Kornfield

Suffering begins to dissolve when we can question the belief or the hope that there’s anything to hide. – Pema Chodron


2 Responses to “Long week, longer weekend…”

  1. You know, those quotes were great…but I am just so brain dead this weekend that I fear that they went in through my eyes and just floated away before they registered much.

    I need a vacation….wanna come?

  2. I am so beyond ready for a vacation – I was reading a blog about how it’s singles week in Provincetown and I got a wicked case of jealous. A shoreline, walks on the beach …I am beyond ready.

    Went to my volunteer gig today so completely exhausted. Got out of the car, it looked like a successful and totally chaotic event. Walked around for a minute or two – could not do it thought “they’ll be fine without me, no one will miss me” and I left. They have plenty going on without my help.

    I went to an art fair and to the bookstore – it’s not the beach but it was a nice break for me.


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