Shadows and Light

JLB wrote in the comment section on my post Wolf At The Table “i’d say that everyone’s story is someone’s “truth” and I’d say that’s true. It’s also perhaps false – is reality the little or big dramas we create in our head (our stories) or is reality something else entirely.

In any case I have some housekeeping to do. As our lives are comprised of light and shadows – I’ve been spending a great deal of time lately chasing the light and ignoring the shadows. The chaos of the house, the dust in the corners, the weeds in the yard. What do they matter?

They matter in the sense that I think they are symbolic of my mental state on some level…there is literally shit I am not dealing with in my life.

So I’ve decided with 48 or more hours stretched out in front of me, free of obligations, to go on lock down — i.e. a 48 hour silent retreat. I might find myself saying as I did last December “I’ll take an order of shrimp egg foo young” but my plans are to spend the time with myself, alone, not talking to anyone, doing some much needed housekeeping.

If I do the work each step will be making places for the light to shine in, healthy people to move into my life and I’ll really be taking action that will move me forward in a healthy way.

In other words I need to open up some channels for positive energy to flow in and right now I have been building dams – there is no room for any dykes in my life.

Blogging does not count as talking, so I may be blogging up a storm. Last night I stayed up past midnight drawing, it was great. May I recommend everyone smash their tv sets – your life will grow more interesting and richer.

peace-
Janet

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2 Responses to “Shadows and Light”

  1. The best, most productive times in my personal life have always been when I was alone. When Bing was at a conference and Liv was on vacation with her father last year, I dreaded the alone time and then found as I slogged through it, that it was keenly difficult for me to give it up when they returned. I have always had a hermit’s heart.

  2. I have always craved alone time. Even as a child. I like your idea of housekeeping. That’s exactly what it can feel like. And at this stage of my life it really feels like housework, like homework. Cleaning out. Scraping off.

    I wonder what will emerge?

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