Belt It Out.

Belting it out on Friday —

I have discovered Seitenbacher Musli #3 For Active People, I cannot say enough great things about a bowl of it with fresh raspberries, blueberries and soy milk.

I am waiting, impatiently I might add, for M.F. to make her next move in Scrabble, I check my e-mail, oh I dunno 9999 times a day (but I am not obsessed).

I’m self employed so I have to check it all day for those reasons too.

Yesterday at the gym there was man, younger then I am, on the leg press machine. He got up “are you finished?” I asked. “Yeah”. I put another 90 lbs on it and did two sets of 12 reps…I smiled inside. I am still the little girl that liked to play sports better then the boys across the street.

I made my father file the teeth off my figure skates, my mother insisted on the girl skates. I wanted to go faster playing ice hockey on the river with the boys. He did – my father thought the teeth were stupid too. Eventually they just let me get hockey skates.

Why I don’t like the phone…these are the choices I have:

1. I have a 140 lb. ___________ he has started to become aggressive and attack dogs,lunge at some people on the sidewalks. I don’t know if we should have a private lesson or if I should bring him to your family dog classes. (gosh I dunno).

2. I have a _________________ we are very worried about him, he attacked the last person that came over.

3. The 8 week old puppy I just bought, is growling and biting me if I touch him.

4. My two Great Danes are fighting.

Hmmm – who do I want to call first? I do think “size matters” and I will start in this case with small ones.

David Sedaris “When You Are Engulfed In Flames” and “Life Is A Verb” by Patti Digh are on the reading table, which is also the table from which I write this, the eating table, the pile all kinds of SH!#@@!1 table.

The photo is my new belt – Ed Hardy – I became a Zappos victim yet again. I waited too long to get it and so I missed out on the black & silver one. I’m working my way up to a tattoo – what do you think?

Have you participated in the tattoo poll? Hot or Not?

I think I am going through a second childhood, is this a mid-life crisis…is there a red convertible in my future?

A second childhood does assume that at one point you grew up and behaved in an adult like manner. I have not had a second childhood…I am still living my first one.

I think I want a traditional sparrow tattoo on my forearm – the sparrow represents freedom (and I’ll queer it up a bit).

The belt reads “loves kills slowly” — and love does kill doesn’t it? Breaks us wide, wide, WIDE open. Our hearts stretch and fill to new capacities. I was thinking the other day that to feel joy, to love – is directly relational to our capacity to suffer. The range of emotion, the depth of our lives and experiences. I want to feel them all. I want love to kill slowly – end up joyfully broken open by life, love, you.

I don’t understand phrases like “falling in love” or “falling out of love” – do you? I just love – the sun rising, the wind blowing, the back of her neck, the gracefulness of her collar bone – just love. I don’t fall out of love, I do fall out of relationships with crazy b_____ (oops, oops I slipped).

So it’s weird to me this falling in and out of love – it’s like waking up one day and saying “I hate the sunshine”. I have only been in love a handful of times but if any one of them were at the end of the driveway with the motor running – well I might just … (be the end of a movie that leaves you hanging with what happened).

Discuss amongst yourselves, or in the comments section. I have to make appointments with biting and attacking dogs. It feels like there’s just a wee bit of summer left (cold last night and this morning). I have a lot to do today and I’d like to sit here and take care of personal things that are piling up and hideously ignored. Tonight I’m going to the closing party for the one lesbian bar in town…all sorts of debauchery is promised.

I think I’ll cancel my morning appointment tomorrow just in case I am sporting a wee bit of a hangover or maybe because those dogs bite too. Both of them. Nothing like two big black dogs biting you. Last time they bit me multiple times (the dogs are muzzled) but it still scares the bejeebez out of you.

Why do I mostly enjoy my life so damn much — you enjoy yours too! Or change it…get started.

peace-
j.

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5 Responses to “Belt It Out.”

  1. patti digh Says:

    Imagine… me on the table with David Sedaris…! Quite a combo. Love the belt. Will get a tattoo if you do.

  2. Yeah, cool belt! And, yeah – get the tatt but be very sure of what you want

  3. Oh my lordie– Patti Digh visits the blog and I haven’t even dusted or hidden all the curse words. I wonder if David will be next?

    I am getting a tattoo so I’ll show you mine and you can show me yours. September (Happy Birthday for me)tattooed for the second half of my life.

    I am going to crack open your book right now — I already love your blog!

    peace-
    janet

  4. Hi,

    I like your belt, your shoes, the fact you quote pema, listen to pureka, and have an unhealthy obsession with Melissa Ferrick (how did you get her to play scrabble with you anyway?).

    I have “come out” a little later…am currently dating and feeling like I have regressed to embracing the adolescent boy I never was.

    Thanks for your blog!

    Sarah
    sarahhitstheroad@gmail.com
    Spokane, WA

  5. Hello Sarah – thank you so much for visiting and the kind words about my blog. Do you have one of your own?

    Embrace your inner adolescent.

    And as far as M.F.goes I really can’t share any more about our relationship .
    Janet

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