So glad I didn’t break up with Melissa…

So here’s what happened in the briefest of summaries – cause I am feeling sort of low about this and not blogging much. Cause I am (an old dog on a chain) a really hot 46 years young – she was a lot younger than I am …oh 12 or 13 years probably. M.F. and I have a lot in common. She was just coming out of a relationship and I knew better, knew better, knew better but instead just sat back to watch what happened. Lots of e-mail, and iChat and actually meetings and I let my heart and hopes go …weeeeeeeeeeee this is fun because I really liked her.

But she’d talk (of course she would) a bit too much about the ex. And I would absolutely expect someone to need to do that but darling not with me, especially if you are interested in pursuing a relationship with me, which you claim to be doing.

So circling back to the past once again – and all the pain she was in (and didn’t I understand that) I set some boundaries. Talk about her but not with me.

But she is in so much pain…and “I don’t know what it’s like…”.

Sigh. We have all experienced pain, loss, death, unrequited love, love that was requited and collapses – lives that are one moment everything we want and the next minute are a crumpled mess at our feet. We all have been there, it is what gives us compassion for others and the human experience.

And I am 46 and you are probably 33 — and you can be wise and intelligent and bright at 33 and I guess I was missing sensitive to others and not taking them on a ride with you. She was not ready and I dammit Janet you know better!

And I am so fucking glad I did not break things off with Melissa and it is ironic to me that her album is called “Goodbye Youth” and I adore her, and it and have all of my tickets for her Michigan shows. She’s whipping my ass at Scrabble…but disappeared for her tour.

I’ll write some more about the uber fantastic album Goodbye Youth later — for now I am off to get my hair cut, off to the art studio.

Thanks to each and every one of you that visits the blog, reads, comments and worries about me & wishes me well. Now would one of you beetches hook me up with Ferrick please…I just want to meet her, tell her she’s brilliant and have her sign an album.

Really, that’s it, it’s all I want. Then I’ll have everything I need – I swear. If she takes one look at me and thinks “wow” well that’s her problem but hey for the moment I’m available. Who am I kidding…I am always available, I’m the serial single girl and probably would not change for Ferrick either.

xo-
janet

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5 Responses to “So glad I didn’t break up with Melissa…”

  1. Awww..I was hoping that would work out for you. At least there is solace in good music. I may have to take a listen to that myself. I know I feel the same about Amy Ray that you do about M.F. It’s heartbreaking…All I want to do is see her in person…sigh.

    Hang in there kiddo.

  2. 8thdayplanner Says:

    Seems lately every Sapphic blog I read is full of heartache. Maybe it was the full moon.

    I will put positive thoughts into you and Melissa. Hey, you never know!

  3. Sorry to hear things didn’t quite work out. You’re a cool lady Janet – good things are bound to happen soon.

    Side note – MF is playing two shows in Northampton,Mass (about 20 miles from my house). I’m thinking I better get my butt in gear and get tickets.

  4. oh, soooo good you didn’t break up with MF!

    It’s a scarey land of dating out there….I’m reading your words and screaming, “Run, Janet, RUN!” Oy, that didn’t sound like a likely love interest at ALL.

    Keep writing about those encounters, good or bad, they’ll be great for you to look back on, and great for us to read. Laughter is the only cure here, baby!

  5. Oh she is a lovely, intelligent, artistic and interesting woman…it’s all there and it’s unfortunate that we hit a snag.

    I’d rather meet her a year from now (or maybe several).

    She is in so much pain right now I don’t think she can see beyond it.

    -thanks all!

    Janet

    Oh if you want me to write about encounters I should talk about the first woman I kissed – what a fiasco that situation was!

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