Wednesday Ramble

So several weeks ago – I was getting to know a much younger woman and I liked her. She was always on-line and I started listening for that “beep” that meant someone on Facebook wanted to chat. Generally it was her. We spent a few days together on the last one…

“Are you hungry”? (k)
“Yes”. (j)
“What do you feel like eating”?. (k)
“I don’t care but I don’t like Sushi”. (j)

Next thing I know I am sitting in a Japanese cafe…you guessed it Sushi. Only I wasn’t eating it. She was.

Oh don’t go there — does not.

This was one red flag from the universe that “this dear is not the one”.


Fast forward…no news to report on the relationships, girlfriends or dating updates.

My social life is not terribly exciting.

It’s fucking cold here – (well no fucking) it’s cold. Cold = big mess in the dog kennel (i.e. my house). I have a dog door animals wander in and out, just my own. Well it’s too cold to leave it open now. Messy house. Dogs are pucking, peeing and making a general mess when I am sleeping at night. Yes they are trained…they are all old.

Stuff happens. Usually the stuff just missed the areas I create for these nocturnal emergencies. I really don’t want to walk dogs (or even drag them all outside at midnight when it is 20 degrees). 20…in October! ick.

I go to the art studio today. I love Wednesdays, the first part of the day is truly the only big chunk of time I take for my selfish little self every week. No cancellations – I go and I play with clay. Therapy at it’s best. I eat lunch at a rather wretched place next door but it’s owned by lesbians and they sort of swoon over me – they race to the register for who will take my order. It makes me blush.

Hell yes my ego loves it – there I said it – I get lonely, I’ll take the attention.


Ferrick – it’s so close, tomorrow! I have asked one woman to go with me at least twice and she has turned me down at least 9999 times. I have asked friends and can’t get anyone to go tomorrow. Sigh. I asked the woman that wanted (finally) to “hang out” this week. Is “want to hang out” asking someone to go out? It’s so confusing.

She is not into Ferrick. Not into Ferrick? What about into me?

I hope it’s not another Sushi thing… (don’t go there does not)!


This is the LAST Saturday I have to get out of bed early to go and teach dog training classes. PHEW! Working every day for six weeks straight finally, finally ends.

I can take a whole damn day off – a Saturday – how novel. What will I do with myself?


Maybe I could go to a Ferrick concert and eat Sushi!
Does not…Sushi tastes like raw fish period. Raw fish.


My button flys are all hot from the dryer (dryer buzzed at me) polishing up the boots — beautiful day. The seductive blushes of red, orange, yellow before the maple trees all roll over and rest.

Life is so grand isn’t it? It is. The world on one level can seem like a scary mess and we do have to attend to it – to defending ourselves from laws that are designed to take our freedoms away, we need to vote for leaders that will raise this nation to a more human and inclusive nature, we have to tighten our budgets again and worry about our financial futures. We have to, we have to…

We also have to be happy – we have to be happy. It’s never a set of circumstances that happen to us. Happiness doesn’t come when the perfect job, or law passes (or doesn’t), or house, or partner, or lesbian singer/songwriter comes to play in town.

Happiness comes when you decide to be happy. You decide to be happy – it’s where generosity begins – it starts with yourself, your spirit then you tackle the rest but you start at home.

Sitting with a cup of coffee, on a beautiful fall day – where you sit without a whole lot around you but with so much more then you need. Life is so good, so grand, so miraculous.

You’re grateful and happy.

But you are NOT, NOT gonna eat sushi. (does not).



9 Responses to “Wednesday Ramble”

  1. Just this morning I read a quote that said something like “life is 10% what happens, the rest is 90% how you react to it”

    I’m probably misquoting that terribly – very little sleep last night – but I really liked the idea of it. Today I am choosing not to let the assholes get me down.

    How’s Walden doing?

  2. He is eating well and talking a walk every day …again.
    He should be a model for us all, get up and give it all you’ve got then do it all over again.

    I took me 45 years to learn that “happiness is something you choose” period. It isn’t about what happens, it’s about who you are and choose to be.


  3. Along the lines of happiness…

    Joy is peace dancing and peace is joy resting. F.B. Meyer
    Years ago I was searching for inner peace, then one day, I realized I could tap into it anytime I felt out of sorts.

  4. Hiya….just found, and liking your blog! Will go and read some more..

  5. Arial Ray Says:

    If it’s any consolation…and it likely isn’t….I’d go see Ferrick with you if it wasn’t a four hour drive away.

    I’m going to see Amy Ray all by my lonesome.

    I’m learning every day that happiness is a choice. It took a few weeks for the universe to transmit that lesson, but better late than never.

  6. Thanks all for visiting and your great comments.

    Arial — I am the most independent queer woman on the planet. 46 years solo and I do concerts alone – I don’t mind it.

    Course I’d rather travel with friends but I hope to find some when I get there.


  7. I hope to be that independent at some point soon…I’m working hard at it.

  8. TaraDharma Says:

    it’s that time of year when the sliding glass door stays shut and the dogs must ask to go out. Do they? Uh, no….or if they do it’s the middle of the night and I don’t hear them and then they mess their crate and the smell wafts back to my bedroom. Pee-You.

    It’s my least favorite time of year to be a dog owner — summer is best: I can leave the doors open all the time. Who cares about a few flys?

    I do love sushi, btw. Fresh, raw fish is the best. Especially with some fish ROE piled on the top! Seriously! The Wife hates the stuff, but she’s a good sport and will eat the tempura and terriaki chicken.

  9. I love your insight J with regards to happieness and how we have much more control over that than we realize. The line about when happieness doesn’t come (perfect job, partner, house) really stands out. Again, you have made me think.

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