Remembering – re-visiting.
You’ve all been so kind to send me posts that I had previously deleted. I was looking at them this morning – remembering,revisiting and I ran across this written on a Sunday morning..
Sunday Morning Musings
You lean over and inhale
and yes
the scent of her is there on your sweater,
where she rested her head
last night.
You smile broadly.
Five minutes,
or forever.
I am so glad she is in my life.
This moment
with her scent
with my memories
with someone
some
things
besides my selfish self.
I have washed the sweater.
And I wonder who wrote that – and who were you even writing about. Because it feels, already so far away. And what are you supposed to believe in anyway? D.H. Lawrence wrote “the only reality was nothingness and over it a hypocrisy of words”.
I asked “what am I supposed to believe in”?
and she replied “I don’t know what you are supposed to believe in”.
Therein the problem. Nothing to believe in.
I am headed back to work, to art, to the gym – to myself. I believe in right here, right now, myself, alone.
March 26, 2009 at 1:30 pm
I love your ramblings. There is so much more to be found with each reread.
March 26, 2009 at 9:29 pm
With all that you are going through, a trip to the gym is good medicine. Work, working out, creating, all are restorative to the soul.
March 27, 2009 at 1:07 am
Sounds like an excellent place to start.
March 27, 2009 at 10:50 am
I’m trying to get to the gym everyday…and the only thing I do is walk and swim and shower. Sometimes I wish no one was there. It’s not something I believe in but it does help me have clearer perspective. Prefer the art time, still.
March 27, 2009 at 4:20 pm
I love how you are able to write so freely, exposing subtle little vulnerabilities about yourself.
“five minutes of forever”
I’d rather have five minutes of forever that becomes everything….even if it’s washed away and turned into nothingness than not to have experienced the ride at all~
March 27, 2009 at 5:34 pm
believe that we are all in that place with you, at one time or another. listen to your voice that says, “hey you, i love you, you’re doing alright.”