Day two…


Patti Digh wrote a book called 37 Days – which is a treasure and marvelous little read. I highly recommend it she also blogs here. Great stuff and a warm, intelligent person. I feel like I have gotten to know her through her books, blog and yes, ah of course Facebook.

And now we twitter and doesn’t everyone?!

But she poses a challenge right now — think of something to do and commit to doing it for the next 37 days. See how it might change your life. You can read about it here.

So I have chosen to write — I have chosen to follow the discipline of writing for 37 days, this is day two. I started already you see but you didn’t know that until just now.

I almost stopped writing, wasn’t going to do anymore writing here. But then so many of you spoke up and encouraged me to keep writing both privately and publicly. I was overwhelmed.

I lost myself for a bit – I was going to stop writing, or at least stop writing about such personal things. I’ve changed my mind, I was responding to someone else’s request and not my desires. But she can’t have me. You can’t have me.

You. Can’t. Have. Me.

You can’t have me, or ask me to be quiet, or tell me to shut up, or tell me to keep secrets, or go back inside, to hide, to be discreet. I loathe the very word discreet – icky. And what happened wasn’t just between us and besides I am not sharing what happened between us. I am sharing what happens between people (who might be us, then again might not).

You can’t have me – anymore than I can have you for more than that momentary illusion that we are connected in some way because if you were really connected to me you couldn’t ask me to be quiet. If you really cared about who I was you would encourage me to live out loud and share everything that I am. It’s the cheer I’d do for you because I believe in everything that you are. Even when it hurts this much, I believe in you and wear you on my soul.

I. Will. Never. Be. Quiet. Again.

No I write, I write,draw, paint, sculpt, take photographs and I live out loud. And I will write about my life, and my friends,my family, and my loves, and about you, about me, about us.

I will write about us. I will write about us. Because I am us. We. All of us.

I will write about all of us – how I see things at one moment in time.

Living, loving, breathing, struggling, succeeding and failing. I will write about us.

And when someone can’t talk to me, when I am left estranged, or confused, sad, frustrated then of course I will need to write and to struggle, and to work myself through — all the way through to the other side.

And I am going to write, and write, and write to the questions, to the confusion…until a moment of clarity arrives and things go blurry all over again.

I write – I write to build a bridge that crosses the distance between us, I write to reach out a hand to you. I am always reaching out a hand to you.

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8 Responses to “Day two…”

  1. Grumpy Granny Says:

    Thank Goddess! So when are you going to publish YOUR book. The “stalker” incident and how it affected you might be a good place to start…

    I’ll be reading,

    GG

  2. Last week when you were upset and deleting posts, I let out a huge sigh and said, “It isn’t fair” out loud. When gf asked what was going on, I explained that one of my favorite people was leaving our little community and how sad I was about that. It was a sweet moment and when I told her about you, she was sad along with me. After all this time, she really understands how much, not only my own words, but how important your words are to me.

    Thank you for your strength to continue and understanding that this world belongs to you.

    Never stop.

  3. Thank you. Really, truely – deepest gratitude.

  4. write ON!

  5. you sound powerful now. like before the stalker thingie. we must NEVAH NEVAH let anyone else have our power. its ours for life and maybe when we were kids, other people took it. but now we claim our own and no one can take it… unless we let them.
    can i hear an amen to “I REFUSE”?

    C

  6. thank you for continuing! from just reading your blog, and facebook, you seem to be a strong woman. use that strength and keep up the writing! 🙂

  7. elizabeth Says:

    I teach self defense to women and children and one concept that they learn is: “My voice has power!”

    Your voice has power, Janet. Use it. Whether it’s out loud or on paper, your voice has power.

    cheering!
    elizabeth

  8. I just happen upon your blog and must say that I am glad you have continued to write and that I didn’t miss out on reading your words.

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