Boy Chick.

I don’t know what a boy chick is – perhaps through writing here I will arrive at a definition.  I do know when I heard a friend refer to herself as a “boy chick” I thought “YES” – I am too.  You see I have never given a lot of thought to gender – except that I have always felt not exactly male or female.  I play in other words with gender –at least  I suppose I do.  I confuse people a bit – straight men, straight women, gay men, lesbians have all at times found me attractive.  It confuses me but then frankly it doesn’t …I like it if people find me attractive.  Who doesn’t.

But I do seem to lack a simple definition or at least I hope I do.  I hate labels and a world of black, white, male, female, short, tall, gay, straight — I like shades of grey, blurry lines and fuzzy edges.  Questions not answers.  Enigmas.  I’m completely comfortable in other words with confusion.

I do know a boy chick when I see one but if I referred you to Drew, Beth, Liz well you would have no idea who I mean.  So let me instead share a list of woman I think of as “boy chicks”…Kate Moennig, Jackie Warner, Melissa Ferrick, Jenny Shimizu.

Am I beginning to make any sense?  Does it even matter?  I am an old boy chick — female but with boyish qualities.  Definitely middle aged, definitely queer – definitely feel like a little five year old boy chick inside.  In other words while I am getting older, I’m definitely growing down and hope to always maintain a childlike curiosity and playfulness about life.   I’m frankly shocked when I look in the mirror and realize I am not as young as I feel inside (or that I don’t look anything like Jenny Shimizu).

So that is who I am.

Welcome, sit down -put your feet up.  Oh your Vans are great, I also love red heels…stay a while.  Tell me who you are.