She’s back…

So Monday I hurried to the hospital that is about two hours away – arriving as soon as I could (well it is a complicated relationship).  I walked into my mother’s hospital room.  She was sitting up in bed “HELLO JANET” she said.  Remarkable I thought for an 85 year old woman who had just had a massive stroke.  I walked around to the side of the bed and kissed her.

She paused to look at me.  “You have your hair in a butch” she said.  I took off my coat and sat down.  “And I hate that thing on your arm”.

She’ll be fine I thought – and so will I.

It appears she may not have had a stroke but rather extremely high blood pressure caused symptoms/episodes that mimicked a stroke, this was due to a new chemotherapy medication she is on.


10 Responses to “She’s back…”

  1. glad to hear your mother’s ok and back to her self it seems! ah mothers, a complicated story at best…. made even more challenging by them getting older and frailer, but also the “stuff” condensing down to what seems (well in my opinion!) to be a harsher version of past.

    all stuff we have to work out in therapy i guess!

  2. Thank you so much for the update – I am thrilled that it was not as bad as expected. yay for good news!!

  3. it’s a complicated relationship and if these were her last words to me “you have your hair in a butch” – well that would be tragic. The sequel will be interesting – love, families …it is all very hard.

    She asked me all afternoon if I liked the various nurses (of course it was funny and embarrassing). I only “liked” one of them.

  4. I’m glad she is on the mend and that those won’t be your last words with her. As for the liking nurses bit, I’d have to say she’s trying. So keep the door open with her.

    Love and families ARE hard…but when you “get there” it’s a whole new dynamic. I think I only got there in the last 8 years or so and it’s much different on the other side of complicated. Not to say we still don’t have moments, but on the whole it’s no longer complicated and we enjoy time.

    I wish you both healing.

  5. I always tell my girls that at my funeral, I will sit up in the casket and say “that skirt is too short!”

    And it is because I love them.

  6. Better news than expected – nice to see!

    When are mothers/families *not* complicated? It makes us each who we are, whatever the dynamic is. And I kinda like who you are. 😉

    I hadda crack up at the “butch” comment, and the quizzing about the nurses.

  7. I’m glad that she’s okay.

    I’ll give her this…she’s willing to talk about it, even if the message she’s sending is not always pleasant. My mom knows I’m queer, but she will not discuss it at all – she doesn’t want to know about who I might be interested in, or anything, because if we don’t discuss it, it’s easier for her to pretend that it doesn’t exist.

  8. Hmm. It kinda just breaks my heart that she would think to comment on your hair that way. It would make me want to leave immediately and you stayed?! Do you kinda feel like you’re the teacher in that situation?

  9. I would prefer my mum said what yours did, instead my mum pussy-foots around her disapproves.

  10. hi J, i am so thankful your mom is ok. but you, dear, seem to have such unfinished business in your heart, where she is concerned. i hope with all of my heart she will let you finish it out before she leaves this world. my mom didnt. so i say to you, you must find your peace with or without her consent and/or approval. do it for YOU. you deserve it.


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