Archive for the My Art Category

When She Blushed.

Posted in My Art on June 16, 2009 by boychick1

DSCN0243

“When She Blushed”

Mixed media – oil paint, oil sticks, pastels, encaustic wax with a shellac burn.  10 x 10 inches on a birch panel.

I am having a great deal of fun with these new materials, experimenting — going in all kinds of interesting directions with the art and it feels so very good to return to what are really my roots.

I Wear You On My Soul

Posted in My Art, My Poetry/prose with tags , on May 29, 2009 by boychick1

I’m teaching myself to paint and to paint with encaustics.  Encaustic painting is essentially painting with wax – the medium is a combination of purified beeswax and damar resin.  I am experimenting with a mixed media of oil paint, pigment sticks, oil pastels and graphite.  This is a work in progress titled “I Wear You On My Soul” – going to begin to combine some of my poetry/prose in the paintings & drawings.  And planning to begin to incorporate photography too.

So here are some of the steps as I’m working.  This is the underpainting done with oil paints, then I have added the text with graphite.

DSCN0228_2

Beginning to add layers of clear medium and colored wax.  I color my own wax by mixing oil paint into the encaustic medium.

DSCN0230_2

Continuing to add depth to the surface by carving into it, rubbing pigment sticks into the carved areas, rubbing it off, more pigments …I love the process of addition and subtraction.  That destruction creates something new, different, better – it mimics for me the way we all tumble and stumble through life in a constant state of transformation.

DSCN0234

And this is the prose/poem that is underneath all that stuff going on in the addtional layers on top.

I Wear You On My Soul,   j. smith

I believe in me. In love. Risk. Puppy Kisses. A sky full of stars. Words. Poetry. That not even the rain has such small hands. Music. Music. Music. Saying I love you, often. The arch of neck thrown back. Oh yes. Oh yes. Books – their power to transport you, to transform you. Words. Being authentic and then changing everything you believe in. Fear and going there first. Falling apart, breaking open and not bothering to put oneself back together again. Wide open you are bigger and better than before. Being fragile. Being strong. Second chances. And then third, fourth, fifth. I believe in imperfections. That questions are more important than answers. That happiness is something you are – not a set of things that happen to you. In the laughter of birds. The chirping of children. Flowers. Roses. The scent of roses and their thorny branches heavy with hips in the fall. My lips as they traveled down your back, an audible gasp as I reached a hip. Rollover. Burying your face in the fur of a great dog’s back. Home. Family. Friends. Love. Always love. Ideas. Expression. Living out loud. Laughing. Crying and finding yet one more tear to shed. An endless well. Your eyes an endless well. The sun on my face. The wind in my hair. Flowers. The bold spring flowers that are the first ones to push their faces up to the sky. Life. Walks on the beach. Passion. Impulsiveness. In growing down. Art. Gratitude. Kindness. I believe in you, I wear you on my soul.

Please be sure to visit my new blog!

Posted in My Art on May 14, 2009 by boychick1

DSCN0205

Please be sure to visit my new blog – it’s all about art and words.  It’s located HERE.  Right now I am doing a “generosity meme” if you leave a comment on the post you’ll be entered into a drawing for a gift of art.  Five people will get something hand crafted by your’s truely.  I’ll draw the names on Saturday.

Change

Posted in My Art, personal ramble on May 11, 2009 by boychick1

DSCN0199

This is a piece I worked on yesterday — it’s another encaustic painting and consists of four 6 x 6 inch cradled birch wood panels.  It’s titled “At The Pond” but I may rename the piece “Change”.  I feel changes coming.  I received this message today “Fall in love with the possibilities ahead” – David Whyte.  I am so often reminded how generous the universe is in sending messages when we most need them.  When we listen we hear them, I am listening.

I have a new blog – it’s here. Please visit and let me know what you think — it’s an art blog for my art and writing.  While everything I do is always personal, it’s not a blog about my personal life.  It will just be personal.  I’m participating in a generosity meme right now so if you visit and comment your name will be tossed into the proverbial hat.  Five people will receive something I have made this year.  The details are on the new blog.

Transitions – I have spent so much time over the last several years working and focusing on personal things.  Coming out.  Getting authentic.  Being honest with myself and with those around me.  I’ve had relationship experiences I’d rather forget and dated some beautiful women who I will always be grateful to have had in my life.

I talk to my mother and we talk about my “romantic life” and she inquires with a sincere generosity and openmindedness.  Complete acceptance.  We talked about a person in her retirement community whose gender is confusing and how other residents make fun of him.  How they comment about “people like that” she told me “they are just ignorant because they don’t know someone who is gay”.  Change happens, people transform – not bad for 84.  I hope I remain so flexible when I am 84 and I ashamed of myself for wasting so much time thinking I’d never see the day.

My brother isn’t talking to me but changes may happen within us all.  Difficult times economically – middle aged transitions.  People struggle.

I cannot express how wonderful it feels to let go of all of the secrets in one’s life and just live authentically.  How.  Brilliant.  Life.  Becomes.  Blogging was an important part of getting there – having an online community.  Reading about your lives, the achievements and struggles.

I am still really struggling on a personal level.  This is about as bad as I have felt in years, haven’t wrestled with so much depression since my best friend died.  I cry often.  Begin to do something and then don’t have the energy to do it.  For instance I will drive myself to the gym but sometimes won’t have the energy to get out of the car.  This is not good but I will be fine.

And I don’t know if I am struggling with the loss of my last relationship or if I am just struggling with loss in general.  I feel intensely lonely on a personal level and right now I don’t see a “possibility to fall in love with”.   Falling in love, giving ourselves away to another is the best kind of mistake to make – not one to be regreted.  But right now it hurts.  The cumulative loss is what I am feeling, the frustration of living in a place I really don’t like, the recognition of how I have pushed people away/isolated myself has all become obvious.

It’s just plain hard.  I don’t want to put a smile on, I don’t want to write about it here — I don’t want to talk about it at all except with the one person who will not talk to me.  So writing about it here isn’t appropriate and it isn’t what I need.

What I need to do right now is to make things, to do the work to become an artist.  To get ready for my show — to finish up the projects around the house, to get after my business that I’ve been neglecting.  Painting and working in clay makes me happy — it’s keeping me going, it’s something that when I focus on simply rewards me with whatever efforts I make.  It simply makes sense.

I wish to live simply.  I feel changes coming — I am walking in the direction my life is calling me.  One step at a time.

Poppies. all done.

Posted in My Art on May 7, 2009 by boychick1

DSCN0193

DSCN0192

So I’ve finished my first encaustic painting.  Right now it is titled “Poppies” inspired by Mary Oliver’s poem of the same name.  The piece is a diptych (which means a set of two).  I can’t wait to start another in the morning.  I incised the poppy drawing into the surface of the wax and filled it with oil sticks, rubbed off, more wax, more scraping la, la, la.  Now all it has to do is cure and I need to finish up the edges.

Oh and I got my first show for the raku tiles…very jazzed up about it.  I found out the names of some other artists who have had work there and I really respect them.

Work in progress…

Posted in My Art on May 5, 2009 by boychick1

I am having too much fun with encaustic paint – the depth, luminosity, layering…adding, scrapping back and subtracting.  It’s full of texture, layers of layers.  Love it!  This is another work in progress.

dscn0189_2

Scrape it all off, start over.

Posted in My Art, personal ramble with tags on May 3, 2009 by boychick1

Art so often mimics life.  It’s a representation of all we see, feel, experience.  We have all of these visions and  begin the process of moving towards this idea, making it materialize in our lives.  Sometimes the results are not anything like our vision – at times what we achieve is much better than anything we imagined.

Or sometimes we just end up with a mess.  Yesterday I ended up with a mess – nothing like I imagined but rather more like everything you fear…an ugly, ugly failure.  Not a Picasso, not what you imagined did I sign up for this?

So you scrape it off.  Encaustic painting is painting with wax – colored waxes or working with wax mediums and collage, oil paint, pigment sticks.  So I looked at the sum of my failures…took a deep breath.  Scraped it all off, threw the detritus away.

I realized again how much art mimics life and how both give you yet another chance to start all over again – leaner, lighter, smarter.  You keep your vision, you take a deep breath and you begin all over again.

What have you taken a hard look at, scraped, edited, peeled away — in moving to a more genuine, honest and authentic life?  What isn’t serving you.