He resigned.

Finally. He resigned. My former boss, I used to work in animal welfare. Sort of a big deal in that world consulting and lecturing/presenting at national conferences for HSUS etc. It was a job I loved and yet a very difficult job – one that caused me irreparable damage. Which is not an exaggeration. Layers of depression just peeled off slowly after I resigned, it really did take months, if not a year or more. Hell I am not done yet and may never be.

One of the more gruesome job tasks I had, was to decide which animals lived and which ones died each day – this included the puppies. I was on some level a baby killer, if I wish to reduce the process to the most base and senseless level. Of course animal welfare will create logical criteria for it’s choices and on some level they are rational. Death is still death and the grief is cumulative. And no I don’t believe a “no kill” society in regards to animal welfare is the answer.

BUT my views on animal welfare would take hundreds of blog posts – it’s all very close to my bones and not something I wish to recollect. When I think about animal welfare I can feel my heart speed up and my breaths grow more shallow, my throat starts to close. I still have nightmares. Post shelter stress disorder.

But the ass resigned finally – he was a sexist pig and eventually his harassment of me went all the way to discriminating against me for being gay (I was not openly gay at work, I was just coming out – that’s another 99999 posts). But the last straw was, during a period of reorganization -I said I would take on the behavior and education departments (he wanted me in fund raising/communcation…I raised a lot of money, my programs were the most financially successful in the shelter).

Anyway he told me I could not work with children because “You are unmarried and childless. Parents may not be able to relate to you.”

I resigned the next day — good riddance.

This is all bringing up a few (many, many) emotions — I may spend a day or two quietly with my thoughts.

Haven’t gone anywhere, she’ll be back. To quote Melissa Ferrick “cause I am tough as nails and can sing back the wind”.

The truth wins.

-janet

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2 Responses to “He resigned.”

  1. That’s a lot to process…

    Hang in there J…you are tough as nails, but even nails need some time to recoup.

  2. TaraDharma Says:

    I can’t imagine the stress of that kind of work…and to have a pig as a boss to boot. I’m glad he has resigned and hopefully it can give you some on-going satisfaction and led to true healing. Ain’t it great when it works out well?

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